Game Plan

I really can’t point to the exact moment where it started. I can only say that this month of January is the month that I’ve felt so convicted to do something with my life. Of course, that’s looking at the glass half-full. The negative view would be that I was becoming increasingly dissatisfied with the way things were. The idea that I really needed to shake things up kept recurring to me – lying in bed in those drowsy moments before sleep, in the shower, and silent bus rides back from church among other things. So many things in my life felt like they were pointing towards this single blinding revelation that I felt God was pushing me towards.

And that’s why I’ve resolved to change my life radically. Preparation was something that I felt I needed to do before such a paradigm shift is to take place. It involved sacrifices of course, but whatever happens will be well worth the price of admission. I’ve promised so many things to myself before, that I would… finish all my homework after a restful weekend. Work before play. Take the time to fire off an email to check up on how a loved one was doing. They never happened, and what remained was always that old familiar feeling of failure tainted by a sense of “tomorrow will be better”.

I’ve gotten truly sick of that.

For me, I felt like it was time to shed the irresponsible idiot shell that I’ve been so used to. It’s comfortable, yes, but the crab molts and exposes themselves to danger because they feel the urge to grow. And so it is with myself right now.

So where am I headed? I feel like an arrow, nicked and ready to be let loose. This is that pregnant pause, that split second before that unstoppable kinetic release sends the arrow hurtling towards its inevitable destination. Trouble is, I’m confused as to where I’m being aimed. The energy is there, but the focus is not. Regardless, I’m preparing for something great. I want to seriously experience the best and worst this world has to offer. The key difference is before, I wanted to do this only as an observer. Now, I want to be a participant. It’ll be a strange lifestyle change, and I’ll definitely have relapses, but God willing, something worthy of Christ’s name will be molded of me yet.

Here’s a request: I want you to expect more of me. Throw me more responsibilities be they work, volunteer, or even emotional. I don’t think I’ve pushed myself, experienced true trials up to this point in life, and it’s about time I should.

To Those who have any Shred of Concern for My Safety…

Hey guys, I’m off to teach a guitar lesson. Problem is, it seems to be a very shady deal. I’ve never met this student before and he has his own car. He wants to “take me to the guitar shop” to “help him buy stuff” but we all know that could be euphemisms for things better left unsaid. So guys, if you don’t see me around today or tomorrow… call 911 for me? Numerous thanks in advance!

Fun and greater posts to come, just needed to scratch this blogging itch of mine.

edit – Hay guys I didn’t get shipped off to Saudi Arabia or anything, yay

It’s About Time

It finally seems like the bits and pieces of my life have fallen into place. I have focus once again, and as a result, hope. I spent last night awake, tossing and turning in my bed half because I took a nap earlier and was ridiculously energetic, but also half because my brain was hopped up on thinking about random issues and things happening lately. And my conclusion remained the same as so many other times: I tossed it all in the wind to God to worry about.

And it was great, because I think I actually took a step towards the philosophy work hard + play hard today : ) I appeased my conscience by doing my studying for Economics, and rewarded myself by seeing some great people I haven’t seen in a few weeks or so. My guitar finally received an amusing name that suits it. And to top it all off, I treadmilled ’til my shirt could wick my sweat no more and my legs begged for mercy. For once I could say this unabashedly, without one ounce of regret…

…today was a good day!

What the Dick #1

I swear, I polish my guitar body every week, wipe down the strings after every practice session (daily, in other words), and treat it as if it were my freaking baby. So why is there a freaking chip in the paint now? ARGH, I swear there’s a conspiracy somewhere against me, forcing me to constantly be dissatisfied with my music instruments.

Oh well, at least my guitar “has personality” now. While she gently weeps. (totally unnecessary to put that there, but I like making stupid references for the sake of, just like Tarantino!)

A Little Disclaimer

Boy do I feel like I’m a lawyer already. Please read the following 2 versions of this blog post depending on the information you currently possess:

*FOR THOSE IN THE KNOW*

Guys, for clarification on reasons, please know that:

1) I am mostly a rational person.
2) I have logical reasons for doing what I do.
3) Ethics for me is hugely important, and I went out of my way to minimize any unfair advantages I may have had over any party in this situation, because I want all parties to have an equal grounding and perspective.

Hopefully when all this is sorted out, there will be some good that comes out of it. Anyone who reads this blog is someone I care about to some degree, and I just don’t want any crazy drama to arise from this. Let’s keep it civil, alright guys?

*FOR THOSE NOT IN THE KNOW*

Hmmm… the social networks are easily accessible. I’m sure you’ll hear it from a friend of a friend sooner or later. And if you are someone that I should care a lot about but seemingly left uninformed, it was probably because I wanted to tell you in person, over a face-to-face discussion, not the terribly impersonal substitutes that are email and MSN.

Thank you all, and have a good day. Normal blogging will resume shortly hereafter.

edit – Changed title because I was too lazy to relate this whole post between law and the current going-ons 

Still Remains

I had so much to say

but no words to speak

Parental Units

So my parents, after a too-many-months vacation back to their homeland of Hong Kong for various purposes, have finally returned. The Kwok household is restored to order once more! Seriously, after they left, so many things went into a state of disrepair like our cuckoo clock which needed new batteries and chimed always at the wrong hour… But all is well once more. And we scored a bunch of new swag too, haha. Well mostly my sisters. Any stuff that I would care about is coming in a package soon enough. And with this, most concerns of the world fade away in a state of euphoria…

And the first time eating fruits! At night! in months! Freshly washed and prepared by loving hands!

I’m sorry guys, it’s hard to be serious when REJOICING!11!11!111 (Something more serious will come out here soon enough, I’ll be sure of it)

Concerned?

About the state of affairs of the English service at MCBC, that is. Jeff, Alan, Carol and I were involved in an epic discussion last night that culminated in a modest proposal currently being drafted, regarding some improvements that we think can be made to improve the service. For more details, message any of us for further information, and we hope you’ll join us in taking a stand for the church!

I’ll try to blog a little more frequently, say at least twice every week? It’s an achievable goal I think

What better way…

1) …to kick off a New Year than to start a new blog!

2) …to write a first post by complaining about the lack of customization that WordPress offers. Stupid complaint, I know, coming from a Xanga user, but I was really hoping to at least be able to import a custom image or something to use in my header. One thing I hate about most blogs is how they seem to expect everyone to be using vertical monitors as opposed to horizontal ones. I mean seriously guys, you’re not using 40% of the screen space available for what reason? And now I’ve joined them. Theo, perhaps you can recommend me another blogging service with more customizability? Numerous thanks.

The new term awaits, but first I have to take care of some unfinished business from last year, ranging from the light-hearted (Max Payne 2 calls out for me) to the more serious stuff. Let’s see what this year has in store!