Focus.

So last night in studying delirium, I decided to pop open my Bible and flip semi-randomly. Here’s the results:

It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones. – Psalm 126:2 

If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are just fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us. – James 1:26, 27 (NLT)

Here’s a confession - I don’t read my Bible for comfort. I read it as a tool, as a way of educating myself, as a way to fall asleep… but these verses struck me as wisdom passed on through the ages. Even if I don’t get much of a kick out of reading different ways of how Jesus loves me, there’s something timeless and useful about these verses.

Speaking of kick: 1) I have to kick myself out of my secular mindset more often and 2) I have to KICK myself to GBTW in an hour or two. YAY STATS.

Squeezed

There’s few things as soothing as walking through fresh snow at 2 AM. I always associate Coltrane’s Naima with these midnight romps, especially in the winter since a good friend of mine gifted me with the album for one Christmas. Man, I get chills from all the incredibly delicate arpeggios that John weaves over the very simple but effective bassline and percussion. At this time of the year, I’m always just a bit more cheerful, a bit more optimistic (naive?), and less cynical. Good thing… the world needs less cynics.

There’s someone I know who has such an intense faith that it’s inspirational. It cuts through all the befuddlement this world brings on us, all the mixed messages and political ideologies that the lost subscribe to. Even hardcore atheists and people of other faiths have to step back and admire such conviction. It’s struck me, how hard it is to remember my roots nowadays, and even harder to figure out my next steps. Here’s to Urbana, which should hopefully clarify things again. It’s been a while since I’ve had a genuine respect for someone or something.

I’ve never been very good at translating my thoughts into words in real life. Most of my thinking gets done while I’m laying in bed, waiting for sleep. I jump through so many mental hula hoops, shifting from one premise and linking it to another… only to have a vague memory of it in the morning. What seemed so brilliant at the time becomes a pale shade of itself later. In a way, this blog is therapeutic in that it forces me to try to discipline my mind and produce something that resembles a packaged editorial. Not that I desperately crave the idea of others reading what I have to say. I’m honored that you even took a 30 second break to even click that link to my blog and read this. I feel like I’ve been abusing this podium lately because honestly, my life isn’t exciting at all. I don’t have my own company, I haven’t biked across Canada, I haven’t gone into space, I haven’t travelled to Hong Kong sans parents… the list goes on. Waterloo takes these opportunities and converts them to: a) work, and b) weeping and gnashing of teeth over academics.

I should stop being so self-referential (but does that not defeat the nature of a blog?). So conceited!