Far away

So for those not in the know, I’ve been out of the loop for the past two months. I haven’t blogged since Christmas time. I’m working in Ottawa this term., for the federal government. I am relatively far removed from the original Chinese Christian circle that spawned me, save for some Chinese churches that I attend here. My parents didn’t even help me move things in, I insisted on renting a car and doing it myself.

The funny thing is, I kind of like it like this.

Don’t get me wrong – I get homesick once in a while, and not just for my family, but for people that are comfortable. People that I have fun with, people that “get” the jokes I make, people that have accepted me for who I am, for better or worse. I miss my dad’s standard homecooked dinners consisting of one dish of veggies, one dish of meat, one steamed fish, and steamed rice. I miss driving. I miss the little and the big things.

But it is my firm belief, that everyone needs to change their environments, and themselves, if only once in a blue moon. We were not called to be static, unchanging beings. God is unchanging. We aren’t. We are called to explore, and see what the world has to offer us. Jlin offers a similar take on this subject. We definitely should not be settling down, especially in these times. As Brenda McNeil said at Urbana 06, “where you settle is where you die.” (emphasis mine)

So I’m just enjoying each day as it comes. Even when I’m sick, I’m still counting my blessings. To be in a new environment, surrounded by new friends and surroundings, and being forced to rely on the love and trust I have in God – I’m loving it.

It’s funny how you don’t completely understand the meaning of some Christian jargon until you truly live it. For me, I’m learning to live by faith in Him.

Exam Season

At stake – 6 essays, 1 debate, and 1 exam. 16 days to finish them all. Here is what I’m doing/planning on doing to finish them on time. Lord have mercy on my soul. And yours too, should you take any of this as advice.

• 8:30 AM: wake up
• 8:40 AM: shower
• 9:00 AM: leave the house
• 9:15 AM: arrive at library/workplace of choice, dick around on Google Reader and email
• 9:30 AM: Write at least 100 words, within 20 minutes. Write or Die has been very useful in this regard.
• 9:50 AM: 10 minute Google Reader, or Too Many Ninjas! break
• Repeat previous two steps until late and/or tired
• 2:00 AM: walk home
• 2:15 AM: brush up and sleep

Unworthy

But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

What is this, the fifth time?

I’ve realized over the course of the past few months that I have more things to say than ever, but inadequate words and lack of focus have stymied any desire to update. So, until I determine what the grand purpose of this blog is, I must bid adios.

Motivations

Conventional wisdom says that one does what they love, what they’re passionate about. While this is true, it’s not the whole picture from a Biblical viewpoint, as follows:

Does God call you to do something that you don’t feel a passion for?

Good question, Ross. Run it by biblical examples: - Do you think Abraham had a passion to leave Ur and strike out, “not knowing where he went”? - Do you think Jonah has a passion to preach to Nineveh? - Do you think the 12 disciples had a passion to be fishers of men when Jesus first called them? - Do you think Jeremiah had a passion to give a message to his people that God would judge them? In my experience, God calls us and we respond with obedience. As we do so and get involved, He begins to work in our hearts. What do you think God is calling you to do? (It doesn’t sound like you are passionate about it!) Source: http://www.urbana.org/ns.aj.showall.cfm?RecordId=2863

There’s two significant points behind this. The first point is that passion can be created from a human perspective. Much like how happiness can be a state of mind that one puts himself or herself into, one can also generate passion within themselves for a certain topic. The second point is that God is a major, if not the only driving force behind creating this passion, through obedience of His will. It all boils down to putting Christ as the Lord in your life.

In other news, for these next few weeks, I’m seriously reflecting and thinking on my motivations for applying for law school, and my career and life goals in general. Any and all advice is welcome.

Materialism vs Spirituality: Chicken or the Egg?

Warning – This may be a bit high level for y’all

Some very interesting observations came to me recently, when I experienced first-hand that church and culture directly clashing within what I was learning.

We’ve been studying Marx as a political philosopher,  and I must say it’s some challenging reading, to boil down his theoretical framework to more practical terms. Marx, as we all knowed, advocated a grand vision of economic bliss far different than what capitalism has done today. Time has proven which philosophy was the correct one. Today, Marx exists only as a footnote, and a critic to the capitalist tradition.

One of his beliefs I took particular issue with was his stance on materialism, as follows:

It is a truism that our material needs must be satisfied before any other form of life (e.g. political, intellectual) can exist. - German Ideology

Now, I’m familiar with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, and consequent philosophies that have basically stated to take care of your physical needs as a primary concern before addressing other higher level concerns. However, something still irks me about these philosophies in how exclusive they are in saying that material needs come first. Add in examples of priests who have sacrificed themselves in Nazi death camps, or countless martyrs throughout history, and this claim becomes less clear. Finally, in one of his sermons, the famous Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias declared that through Jesus resisting the temptation of Satan to attend to all his materialistic needs (“Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” – Matthew 4:4). From all this, it’s obvious that there are serious flaws with this belief of a merely material-focused reality.

I talked to my professor about this dilemma, and his reply was this – Marx’s materalism was merely from a scientific and historical perspective, not a normative perspective. Societies only progress once they have met their physical needs. However this was merely his own opinion. But to argue that people can only progress linearly through physical needs before thinking of spiritual ones seriously discredits human ingenuity. Where are the experts, the secondary sources to confirm my professor’s ideas? Why does Marx not elaborate on this further, and explain that that there was a spiritual dimension to life? Was there even vision for spirituality and faith in Marx’s ideas? And why is there such a disconnect from the ideal production-based future that Marx envisioned and the terrible realities of the twentieth century?

While Marx may have some plausible truth in his claims of materialistic needs, like the rest of his philosophy, it is questionable how practical his theory here is. Marx may have had good intentions, but all this only proves is that the philosophies of man cannot fill a deeper sense of purpose and longing that God provides.

More Than Ever

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

It’s so easy to get lost in the details and forget the big picture, the direction that this is headed sometimes.

2008.

Reach Out…
This year, I need to break free of my comfort zone (as with all other years) and discover just what I am truly capable of. If I fail miserably, well hey, I tried. And if I succeed, then I am all the better for it. I’m a twenty year old now, I can’t afford to sit sheltered and not see the world full of glorious and ugly things that await me.

…and Touch Faith
Only by stretching myself am I going to grow any more spiritually. The time for listening and learning with my faith is over, the time for action is now. I’ve grown spiritually (and physically) flabby – it’s time to put the energy I’ve been consuming to good use!

This past work term was a good experience for what it was. I’m not going to regret anything that happened since they were learning opportunities. Calvin and Hobbes will suffice where words won’t:

Happy New Year guys.

it’s on now

Life’s hurtling at an increasingly unsteady and quickening pace towards… something. It’s only this term that I’ve truly acted upon the realization that life is short and transient, and that we should make the best use of our time. I’ve put my time to good use over the past week, holding myself accountable to goals I’ve set long ago but never accomplished.

There’ll always be someone else who can shuffle papers/put the fries into the deep fryer/rub you for money. Why should it be me? Why should I keep myself miserable to quicker reach being miserable for others? And if I make a few mistakes along the way… meh!

I wanted more
Than life could ever grant
Bored by the chore
Of saving face

I’m smelling the roses baby.

Rock On

It’s been an awesome week, thanks to events like what I’m going to describe.

UW’s co-op system works likes this. There are two rounds of postings for jobs, with the first round of jobs consisting of far more desirable postings, and the second round of jobs being less so. First round jobs are posted in the first two months of each four month term, and second round jobs are posted after those two months. Every job receives a number of applications, which then get evaluated for interviews, and the candidates that are chosen are then ranked by the hiring company on a scale of 1-9, with 1 being a guaranteed offer to 9, which is the lowest possible score. It is also possible to get ‘not ranked’ from the hiring company, which takes you out of consideration for the job completely. First rounders get a number of perks, including rankings for jobs being released at the same time, so that candidates (now referred to as ‘keeners’) can pick and choose which jobs they want out of the ones they were interviewed for. Second rounders, generally get… shafted.

Guess which round I’ve been slumming around in for most of my jobs?

So this past week, I’ve been pretty anxious over multiple priorities, with one of the highest being my unemployed status. My housemates and other people in my program had mostly found jobs, so it was starting to become slightly stressful. However, I found myself blessed with three interviews early on in the week, so that gave me hope. I nailed the first interview on Wednesday, which was for a position as a coordinator at a tutoring centre. I got ranked first, meaning I got the job offer. Now, this was incredibly exciting in one way, since I could finally focus on my studies and do well on my exams, get good marks, get a good job and find fame and riches and glory from thereon. On the other hand, the job sounded like total crap. The offer would expire the next day, so I had one night to make my decision. There was a lot of pressure on this, because my next four months rested on this fateful decision.

What did I do?

I decided to start reading Bill Hybel’s Too Busy Not to Pray on a whim, while trying to fall asleep. I’ve stopped reading it for a while due to laziness, but that night I had absolutely nothing to do so I picked it up again. I then came across the following passage (emphasis mine):

“How do you pray a prayer so filled with faith that it can move a mountain? By shifting the focus from the size of your mountain to the sufficiency of the mountain mover, and by stepping forward with confidence. As you walk with God, your confidence will increase and your prayer will have power.”

I knew what I had to do from there. The next day, I rejected my offer for the tutoring placement, and placed my faith in God helping me to ace my next interview.

Lo and behold, I nailed it.

I’m going to be in downtown, working for RBC, starting September. BOO YEAH!